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What I wish I knew before becoming an author

Posted by Maria Murnane | March 7, 2016

Last year I watched the Oscars with two friends. At some point an award for writing was presented, and while I don’t remember who won it, I do remember what he said, because I burst out laughing.

He said something along the lines of…writers hate themselves.

If this is how you sometimes feel when you write, you're not alone!

 

When I laughed my two friends looked at me in surprise, so I explained to them that I found the comment hilarious and true. Not that I hate myself all the time or anything, but since I became a published author I’ve definitely experienced the occasional spell of self-loathing while working on a book. Crippling, almost paralyzing self-doubt taunts me in the form of these kinds of questions: Is this terrible? What if my fans hate this? Where is this story going? What am Idoing? What business do I have trying to make a living as a novelist?

My friends were shocked to learn this about me. They think my life is perfect. (Ha.) Don’t get me wrong. I love being a full-time author, and I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve accomplished. I’m also well aware that there are a lot of people out there who would cut off a limb to be in my position. However, when I was trying to get my first novel (Perfect on Paper) published, I remember thinking that once published, writing future books would be easy because I would feel like I had made it. Unfortunately, I was dead wrong. Perfect on Paper reached #2 overall on Amazon, yet here I am, seven books later, still experiencing self-doubt. Maybe it’s that sense of insecurity that fuels the creative process and pushes me to tell good stories, but it certainly wasn’t something I expected to last this long!

-Maria

 

This blog post originally appeared on CreateSpace.com. Reprinted with permission. © 2016 CreateSpace, a DBA of On-Demand Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved.

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “What I wish I knew before becoming an author”

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  • Cindi says:

    OK. I’m one of those people that have partially written stories,and synopsis, and story idea’s in notebooks, and on napkins and pieces of envelopes, stored in a large plastic container. I’ve been collecting for 45 years. Then again maybe I’m the only one. Fear, and me being my own worst enemy, stops me. I never saw the reason to learn English when I was in elementary school. I thought if a person could understand me as I was speaking, why did I need to understand verbs, nouns,and sentence structure. Now what do I do, waste more of my precious time by going back to school or just forget about being a writer. But I’ve tried to stop thinking about writing and so it haunts me day and night. My question is if I can’t do my own editing, should I forget writing?

    • Maria Murnane says:

      Hi Cindi, of course not! You can always hire an editor to help you. If you love writing, just keep at it!

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